It's been a long year. It's been a good year. I've learned a lot of things, done some other things, and got a few things. But I feel like the most important thing I've learned and the thing I'm working on the most is quality time.
Quality time is a subjective thing, it means one thing to me, something different to my wife, and something different for each of my children. But it is invaluable to each of us.
As men we are not fantastic at multi tasking, in fact let's just be honest, we can't do it. We function better by focusing on one thing at a time. For me that means if I'm working on a home improvement project I will be way more productive if I'm not also keeping an eye on the kids. But it also means if I am going to optimize quality time for each member of my family it requires one on one time with each of them.
I look at the family unit as an entity also, we have to do things as a group. It's not always one on one interactions. We can all enjoy a day at Disneyland and that could satisfy quality time for the family unit, but you can also satisfy it by sitting down to a nice meal at home. Get everyone involved with preparing the meal. Some of my favorite family quality time memories are sitting down as a family and making each other laugh and talking about our days.
For my daughter it means going to dance class with her and participating in the father daughter dance for the recital. It means laying in her room with her and watching whatever stupid YouTube video she likes to watch.
For my son it's helping with his homework, sitting with him while he practices piano or playing a video game with him.
For my wife it's talking. My Lord it's a lot of talking. But I can't just sit there and listen, I have to pay attention and respond, and offer opinions, and not let my eyes glaze over.
Don't overlook yourself. Women need time to themselves, but I think men benifit from alone time the most. Find something that you like and do it alone. Yes make time for friends as well but you need to do things by yourself too.
And please spend quality time with God. And by quality time I don't mean shouting oh Jesus! when someone almost hits you on the freeway. Read your Bible, spend time appreciating what you have, or what you have avoided. Be greatful.
There are other people in your life that need quality time too, but I wanted to focus immediate family. A family is the strongest unit in the world if you invest in it. It can carry you through hard things, protect you from scary things, and lift your spirits with joyous things. It just takes a little time.